Blondie Read online

  Mr. B. can fix anything. He’s an expert on many vital kindergarten concerns, like snow angels and playground bullies. In the early-morning hours, when Elmo and he wait on the corner for their respective rides (school bus for Elmo, car pool for Mr. B.), he can answer questions about the important things in life: women, money, and bologna. He’s also, Elmo has found, easy to manipulate: he’s a continual source of golf course employment, despite Elmo’s obvious lack of skill—and strength—as a caddy.

  But their friendship isn’t one-sided; Dagwood needs Elmo to remind him of his role as an authority figure (his own children have long since forgotten that he is one) and to keep him up-to-date. A comic staple and a point of reference for Blondie’s youngest fans, Elmo is probably the most in touch with today’s technology and trends. Like any five-year-old, he has play dates and camera phones. But at heart, he remains a sweet little boy, with boundless enthusiasm and curiosity—especially about food—which is probably why he gets along with Dagwood so well. It’s symbiosis at its most basic—and most tasty.

  Elmo’s carefree days are filled with softball games, hockey games, skateboarding, and general childhood fun.

  The spunky five-year old neighborhood boy. With the curiosity of the child he is, Elmo can seek adult wisdom one day by questioning Dagwood, and cajole something out of him the next. He is Dagwood’s little pal as well as his nemesis.

  CHAPTER 2

  GETTING MARRIED

  Though Blondie and Dagwood’s life together officially began on their wedding date, their relationship started earlier, in the imagination of visionary Blondie creator Chic Young.

  Chic was already a successful cartoonist, with several well-loved and widely syndicated strips to his credit, when he set out to create Blondie in 1930. A Dithers-like dispute with his boss at the newspaper syndicate over—what else?—a raise and ownership of his then most popular strip, Dumb Dora (whose titular character was also a flapper), had resulted in a stalemate. In protest, Chic engineered a work stoppage, eventually retreating to his home studio on Great Neck, Long Island. The impasse didn’t last long. Within a few weeks, the boss had second thoughts, and Chic got back to work. In the summer of 1930, he drafted what would become the world’s most popular comic strip, Blondie. With his determination, he became one of the first cartoonists to retain the rights to his own work.

  In its earliest incarnation, Blondie was about the clash of social classes and backgrounds, contemporary and traditional mores, and of course, men and women. Dagwood was a rich and important, if awkward, man about town; Blondie was a poor—but beautiful—nobody. Their attraction was that of opposites—she was as out of place in his family drawing room as he was in her dancehalls. And in the beginning, their love wasn’t exactly exclusive—both had other suitors.

  Blondie had a succession of boyfriends, including a studly, barrel-chested mechanic, Gil McDonald. Dagwood, at his parents’ behest, became engaged to not one, but two women, but was saved from the clutches of matrimony by, first, an incredible legal loophole and, then, a nick-of-time rescue. Through it all, this unlikely couple kept returning to each other, professing their love and devotion.

  “My precious girl, gladly I’d grovel in the dirt at your feet,” Dagwood would say (men were more romantic back then), while Blondie fluttered her eyelashes. Their main obstacle was a big one: the Bum-stead family. These pillars of society—especially Mrs. Bumstead, a literal pillar—rejected Blondie, who in their eyes was nothing but a social-climbing money-grubber. Surely she was after his fortune and not him, because, well, just look at him!

  When Dagwood first introduced Blondie to his father, their love was an obvious attraction of opposites.

  At times Blondie and Dagwood’s relationship had a rocky start.

  Dagwood was a rich, if awkward, man about town; Blondie was a poor—but beautiful—nobody.

  But Dagwood remained loyally lovesick. It was Blondie—and no one else—that he wanted. The couple was determined to marry, but the Bumsteads would not have it. So in the winter of 1933, Dagwood embarked upon a historic and life-changing protest—a hunger strike.

  Seeing the poor infatuated Dagwood take to his bed in starving dissent galvanized the country. The strike generated news stories, gossip column mentions, and thousands upon thousands of letters and telegrams from readers. One young man in Nebraska even initiated a copycat strike, defying his parents and his stomach in the name of love. Blondie was more popular than ever.

  Meanwhile Dagwood was languishing, delirious and dreaming of his two great loves, Blondie—and food. His mind was filled with thoughts of stuffed turkeys, flying sandwiches, and parading desserts. It was a prophetic moment, a foreshadowing of the man he would become—obsessively in love and obsessively hungry.

  Twenty-eight days, seven hours, eight minutes, and twenty-two seconds into the hunger strike, Dagwood’s parents relented, and gave him permission to marry his beloved Blondie—with the caveat that he would nonetheless be disinherited if he did so. Dagwood, glad to at least be eating again, accepted. The showdown with his parents not only proved him to be a worthy hero for the strip, it also accomplished the neat trick of doing away with the millionaire storyline, which frugal Chic Young felt was unseemly in light of the growing poverty in the country following the 1929 crash. That many of the movies of the day still dealt with the lifestyles of the rich and fabulous only served to make Dagwood more of a populist hero. And Blondie’s commitment—she stood by her man even as he grew leaner in body and billfold—attested to the fact that she was no gold-digger, but a woman deeply in love.

  Blondie and Dagwood’s marriage in February 1933—before their families, God, and everybody—was one of the great events of the funny pages, where weddings were still a rarity. And it set the happy couple on a journey that has endeared them to millions of readers around the world, from the U.S. to Japan, Iceland to Germany.

  In one fell swoop, Chic Young had set up a storyline based around a couple—Dagwood, the slacker loser with an unyielding appetite and a born-and-bred reluctance to work (he had been a millionaire, after all) forced to do so to justify his marriage; and his beautiful, growing-savvier-by-the-minute bride, Blondie. One of her first questions to her new husband post-marriage was, “You’ll help with the dishes, won’t you?” And this was in 1933! That storyline has created comedy for decades. Dean Young says that the secret is the affection that his father had for his characters, and the affection Blondie and Dagwood have for each other.

  Their love wasn’t exactly exclusive and both had other suitors.

  But no one could deny their happiness or doubt their love.

  Dagwood’s parents encouraged a marriage with Irma, a girl more Dagwood’s “social equal” and Blondie’s roommate.

  However, Blondie discouraged Dagwood’s relationship with Irma in whatever way she could.

  But J. Bolling Bumstead would not be crossed. A marriage to Irma it is!

  “You can equate their love with Romeo and Juliet, with Antony and Cleopatra,” he said. “I think that’s part of the fiber of the strip—the love they have. I like to show that and the readers like to see it.”

  “But,” he added, “that all happened when Blondie and Dagwood got in the real world and had to hack it like the rest of us. That’s when they really fell in love—madly and deeply in love—and the strip soared because of it.”

  Real love and real life. In the pages of the comics, that turned out to be the perfect union.

  And so Dagwood and Irma were married.

  Dagwood and Blondie say their parting words.

  At the last minute, it’s discovered that Dagwood’s marriage to Irma was not legal.

  The drama continues on the high seas as Mrs. Bumstead and Lady Whistlestop conspire to have Dagwood marry Alicia Whistlestop.

  Discouraged, Blondie becomes engaged to Gil.

  Dagwood’s mother says he can marry Blondie, but Dagwood finds out Blondie is engaged to Gil. And you thought TV soap operas were complic
ated!

  Showing his true love for Blondie, Dagwood agrees to marry Elaine so that Blondie can marry Gil. But guess who stops the wedding because Gil is underage?

  When Gil and Elaine marry and Dagwood rushes to propose to Blondie....

  True love overcomes all obstacles.

  Dagwood falls ill, and his parents still insist that he marry ABB (Anyone But Blondie).

  Blondie is pushed away once more and she is determined to start a new life, “like all girls disappointed in love.”

  Dagwood decides on drastic action. The famous hunger strike begins!

  The hunger strike goes on . . . and on . . .

  And on . . .

  All hope for Dagwood is almost gone.

  After 28 days, 7 hours, 8 minutes, and 22 seconds, Dagwood’s hunger strike is over and the nation rejoices.

  That’s when they really fell in love—madly and deeply in love—and the strip soared because of it.

  Deeply in love and against all obstacles, Dagwood and Blondie marry.

  And they began their lives together with the enthusiasm that would carry them through the ups and downs of daily life for decades to come.

  Blondie reflects on her 50 years with Dagwood in this rare strip which breaks “the fourth wall” and acknowledges itself as a comic strip.

  CHAPTER 3

  FAMILY LIFE

  The Bumsteads’ life revolves around family. With two teenaged kids, a dog, and two working parents, their home—located, Chic Young felt, in the suburbs of a city like Philadelphia—is a hive of activity. On any given day, with Alexander practicing his drums, Cookie working on her blog, Blondie perfecting recipes for her catering shop, and Dagwood . . . asleep on the couch, they are typically domestic. The relationship between loved ones, one of the universal themes that have kept Blondie so relevant for so long, is always prime material for sentiment and humor.

  Let’s start with the living room, where even the furniture arrangement is comical. Blondie and Dagwood’s back-to-side easy chair setup has been the source of a lot of confusion over the years, said Dean Young. Why is it put together that way? The simple answer is graphic convenience. As artist John Marshall can attest, it’s a lot easier to fit two people—and a conversation—in one panel when the seating is organized that way.

  Of course, the living room doubles as a nap room for Dagwood, who can often be found snoring away on the couch—sknxx-x! It’s also the place where the family has many important conversations about their lives, the state of the world, and what’s on TV. For Dean, one way to keep the strip up-to-date is to reference real-life events like the Super Bowl or the Oscars. It’s another way Blondie remains grounded in the everyday realities of people’s interests. And, said Dean, “If the reference is timely, it takes the gag up another couple of notches.”

  Another area that’s ripe for joking is the kitchen. Not because of Blondie’s cooking—which is, of course, exemplary—but because it’s such a locus for misbehavior. Whether Dagwood’s fixing—in his own inimitable way—the leaky faucet or scrounging for snacks or planning an after-dinner game just so he can sleep through it, the kitchen is as much a centerpiece for the Bumstead home as it is for any American household. More so, perhaps, because the family dinner hour, once an incontrovertible tradition, now a comparative rarity, still thrives in the pages of Blondie. For each family member, there is nothing more important than being home for supper—if only to witness Dagwood’s monster appetite in action.

  Luckily for them — and us — the Bumsteads are able to poke fun at themselves in any situation.

  In fact, aside from the occasional poker game or golf outing with Herb, Dagwood is a homebody, preferring the camaraderie of his family to that of his office-mates or friends. And who can blame him, when he’s coming home for a lip-smacking kiss with a woman like Blondie?

  For Dagwood and Blondie, still romantic after all these years, the upstairs bedroom is a sacred space. Not just in the way you’re thinking; they have some of their best conversations there. In fact, that intimacy was so important that in the early years of the strip, Chic Young defied convention by depicting the couple in bed together, instead of in two separate beds, á la Lucy and Ricky. These days, with security being what it is, Blondie is less likely to hear a prowler, but Dagwood is still liable to sneak downstairs for a midnight snack. If he runs into Alexander fixing his own, or Cookie coming home from a date, well, that’s just another opportunity for family bonding—and joking.

  But all this togetherness doesn’t mean the foursome always gets along. Cookie and Alexander quarrel over computer time, Dagwood grumbles about his wife being perpetually late, and even the usually cheerful Blondie sometimes gets riled about her own limitless list of household tasks or Dagwood eating in bed or Dagwood sneaking food before dinner or Dagwood sleeping late or Dagwood just being Dagwood. After all, the woman isn’t a saint, though she’s about as close as we can get without Vatican intervention. Luckily for them—and us—the Bumsteads are able to poke fun at themselves in any situation. In this, too, they reflect our experience, because family is nothing if not a collection of shared grudges and in-jokes.

  And routines. The complex system that his wife and kids have developed to get Dagwood out of bed each morning is a testament to their affection. And the fact that Dagwood is ready to drop anything to tutor his son in the fine art of sandwich making or to advise his daughter on her love life or to dutifully do the chores Blondie lays out for him each weekend, goes a long way to counteract any of the little foibles and mistakes he foists upon them, day after day after day after day. Throughout it all, the Bum-steads value each other above everything.

  “I want to make sure that people realize this family really loves being together,” says Dean. “They love each other.”

  And in the end, of course, that’s what makes them such an integral part of our families.

  “I like to think of Blondie and Dagwood as intelligent human beings going through life together sharing and caring for all the things two people in love have to share and care about,” says Dean.

  “I want to make sure that people realize this family really loves being together,” says Dean.

  CHAPTER 4

  DAGWOOD AT WORK

  A s an office manager at the J. C. Dithers Construction Company, Dagwood Bumstead is reliable, responsible, and a hard worker.

  Well, he would be, if Blondie weren’t a comic strip.

  Instead, Dagwood is perhaps the world’s most laughably substandard employee. Of course, growing up as the son of a millionaire, he didn’t really expect to become a workingman. And his aversion to labor is evident day after day at the office, where his job title might as well be “office procrastinator.”

  Who else would consider, for example, regularly scheduling naps behind his desk? Who else can chronically come in late and leave early? Who would dare to simply delete the boss’s e-mails without reading them, or frankly put off projects until someone else comes by to pick up the slack?

  Some employee in every office, that’s who. By acting out the worst behavior of that universally known goofball, the freeloading colleague, Dagwood is familiar to every manager, supervisor, and corporate honcho in the world—though they probably would’ve fired him by now.

  Dagwood’s boss Dithers is somewhat more forgiving—if a despot who’s liable to go apoplectic over a misplaced memo, whose very joy in life is berating his employees to the point of hair-curling awe, can be called forgiving. At the very least, he hasn’t forced Dagwood out yet, though he has steadfastly refused to grant him a raise. And really, can you blame him?

  But Dagwood’s slackerdom also makes him identifiable to a big portion of the population—anybody who’s ever been an underling. His refusal to kowtow to any standards of industriousness or productivity makes him a hero to the millions of people who dream of putting in as little effort as he does. Who among us hasn’t wanted to rest our feet on the desk from time to time, or tell off the boss, or shirk some par
ticularly inane assignment? Acting like the unchecked id of the office worker, Dagwood lives out the secret fantasies of employees the world over. He sticks it to the man and the system, so the rest of us don’t have to.

  “Every once in a while I have him do something right at the office,” says Dean.

  Still, though there’s a rise in productivity whenever Dagwood goes on vacation, he’s not all play and no work. “Every once in a while I have him do something right at the office,” says Dean. “He can’t just be a total bumbler all the time—you wouldn’t respect him.”

  As part of the ongoing modernization of the strip, Dagwood has become technologically savvy. “He knows how to use a computer,” notes Dean. “His password might be pastrami, but still and all, he’s in today’s world.”

  He has to be, because in today’s world, even millionaires’ sons have to make money. Employment has always been a central concern of Blondie, not only because of all the absurdities inherent in professional life, but because, especially these days, no one can afford not to work. It’s a subject people the world over can relate to, whether they spend their days in a corporate behemoth or a mom ‘n’ pop shop. So Dagwood does up his bowtie and marches into the revolving doors of his office skyscraper each and every weekday. Of course, if he had his Dithers—uh, druthers—he’d revolve right back out again. But then, so would the rest of us.